A temporary illusion?

 Saying "I love you" one day, and walking away the next is emotionally destructive. It leaves someone stranded between hope and heartbreak, never knowing what was real and what was just a temporary illusion. When someone uses those three words, it plants a seed of trust, security, and commitment in the heart of the other person. To suddenly withdraw, to vanish, or to act cold as if the words meant nothing, causes a wound that goes far deeper than a simple breakup. It makes the other person question their own worth, doubt their intuition, and replay every moment in their head wondering what they missed.

Although it may be motivated by a desire to "self-protect," that doesn’t make it fair, kind, or acceptable. Protecting yourself should not come at the cost of shattering another person’s spirit. Dismissive avoidant behavior doesn’t just end a relationship—it leaves confusion, abandonment wounds, and unresolved pain behind. The partner who loved deeply is left carrying the weight of unanswered questions and emotional instability, often feeling as though they weren’t good enough when the truth is that the avoidant was too afraid to face intimacy.

This kind of behavior can create lasting trauma that bleeds into future relationships. It can make someone afraid of vulnerability, hesitant to trust, and terrified of hearing "I love you" again because they fear it could be taken away just as suddenly. Healing from this kind of emotional whiplash requires time, self-compassion, and often rebuilding from the ground up. Love should never be a temporary promise given for comfort and then stripped away when things get uncomfortable, it should be steady, genuine, and intentional. Otherwise, the damage caused may last far longer than the relationship itself.