The avoidant attachment style ex is not doing this instead of contacting you: they're not suddenly healing, becoming emotionally whole, or experiencing some enlightened peace that justifies their silence. No, what they’re actually doing is running ~ from their emotions, from accountability, from the discomfort of vulnerability. Avoidant types are experts at creating distance, and silence is their favorite tool of control and protection.
They’re not reaching out because that would require them to confront the very things they’ve spent their entire lives avoiding: emotional intimacy, difficult conversations, guilt, and the impact of their actions on others. Instead, they’re numbing themselves with distractions ~ overworking, new flings, surface-level hobbies, or excessive independence disguised as "self-care." But don’t be fooled. That distance isn't peace. It's emotional suppression. It's fear dressed up as detachment.
They may be telling themselves that cutting off contact is the “mature” thing to do, when in reality, it’s the easiest path for someone who lacks the emotional tools to communicate or face the consequences of their behavior. Their silence isn’t strength ~ it’s self-protection. And deep down, a part of them knows it. They’re haunted by what they haven’t processed, by the weight of the words they never said, and the connection they never truly allowed themselves to feel.
Meanwhile, you’re here wondering what their silence means. Let this be your reminder: silence from an avoidant isn’t clarity or closure. It’s avoidance, plain and simple. And that’s their battle to fight ~ not yours to chase.
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